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The limericks have finally been scrapped, but I like seeing the heading there...sentimental value? I don't know, anyway here are some humorous animal stories for your amusement, I hope you are amused by thenm, I think they're quite amusing...

The Farmer And His Goat

Two men had been travelling for days, lost after their car broke down in the middle of the English countryside. When, finally, tired, hungry and dehydrated, they came across a well in a field they were delighted. Not knowing whether the well contained water or not, they threw some pebbles down and listened for a splash, however they could hear nothing. Looking around for something that would make a louder sound, they happened upon a small boulder and decided to throw it in. After they had done this they saw a goat run and jump into the well. After seeing the goat jump in they decided not to drink water from that well and went to find another. Before leaving the well a farmer came by and asked them if they had seen a goat. They said "Yeah your stupid goat jumped into this well." The farmer replies "Thatís funny because my goat was tied to a boulder"!

The Little Girl's Canary

A little girl is in her garden digging a hole. The little girl is crying her eyes out and the neighbour lady looks questioningly over the fence to see whatís wrong. "What is wrong dear child," "My Canary died," she responds. "I'm sorry. But why such a big hole?" "Your damn cat ate him."

Army Of Rabbits

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and out number them?"


A man takes his sick dog to the vet. When it's his turn to be seen, the vet leads the poorly hound into the treatment room. He returns ten minutes later and says to the owner,
"Excuse me sir, but could you say 'Ahh...' for me?"
The owner replies,
"Why should I say 'Ahh...'?"
"Because your dog's dead," says the vet.

If you know any good ones, feel free to contribute in the guest book
For more jokes head to

My Fave Quotes: #1 "Faulty chicken! I think I'll take it back" #2 "Randy - shark! Grab the knife!" #3 "Good call, my young paduin!" #4 "I like blinking, I do" #5 "Clever chicken!" #6 "I'll use my tongue as an oar and swim to the edge" #7 "Let me boost your morale"


Anyone got a dancing apostrophe?!

Brrrrr! Telephone!.

My cat is still adorable, thank you for asking. See you soon.

Feeling a bit grim today?

... Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society ... Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise ... A gentleman need not know Latin, but he should at least have forgotten it (Brander Matthews) ... A crank is a small engine that causes revolutions ... Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man and work like a dog ... Going to church no more makes you a Christian than sleeping in your garage makes you a car ... Love thy neighbour as yourself, but choose your neighbourhood ... Culture is roughly anything we do and the monkeys don't ... Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.

The groovin' penguin is back...

...and he's here to stay.