The owner of a small London bookshop, he loves smoking and drinking, and hates customers. When left alone he is unable to care for himself, and is reduced to drinking household solvents - "If you can clean an oven, you can clean me!".
A fuzzy-bearded ex-accountant who, upon swallowing "The Little Book of Calm" one day, left his job and discovered Black Books. Thinking it a nice change of pace from his formerly stressful career, he begins work for Bernard - only to find his life made not so easy by having to perform all the domestic duties, and by constantly being shouted at by his ill-tempered boss.